My Happily Ever After via a Horoscope and a Bachelorette Party

Two bachelorette parties down, 4 weddings to go! Good lord, the last 2 weekends have been exhausting…

I was particularly excited for the first bachelorette party as it was hosted in Fort Worth… the other two letters of DFW that is polar opposite of the D and the two don’t typically like to intermingle. Fort Worth is a refreshing change of scenery if you’ve been stuck in Dallas for a while. It is a place where you can ditch the LBD and high heals for cut off shorts and cowboy boots. A place where less is more and drinks are cheaper because the men are nicer. Oh, the men… really put Dallas men to SHAME (says the single Dallas girl).

So, what do you need for a Fort Worth weekend getaway? Just the essentials…

Fort Worth bachelorette party essentials.

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Before I could get too excited about the upcoming month of wedding and bachelorette festivities, I had to see what Susan Miller said the *stars* had aligned for me first. I’m not typically an astrology nut, but Susan is basically an Astrology God that really knows her stuff. And I might not blame you if you start getting curious about your own Susan Miller horoscope and start exiting my blog right about now…

But if not, here is a short snippet of what the stars had in store for me the weekend of this Fort Worth bachelorette party, via the Astrology God herself-
“Romantically, circle May 18, when we will see a conjunction of Venus and Uranus in Aries. Aries is a fire sign that blends beautifully with yours and guards your eleventh house of fun, friendship, and events. This will be a highly electric day when love may be sparked suddenly, and a friend seems to be the one that brings you both together.” – Susan Miller
Hello… I am going to meet me a boot wearin’, two-steppin’, handsome Fort Worth man through a friend at an “electric” event and we are going to live happily ever after!

Nope.

I did, however, meet the total opposite: a Canadian that did not know how to two-step… poor thing. He asked me to dance. I led him around the dance floor – apparently that makes the man think I like to call the shots in a relationship (well yeah, but I’m not going to admit that!). We had a great conversation that we both pretended that we actually heard what the other person was saying and… the night ended and we went our separate ways.

Better luck next time, right Susan??

XOXO,

Jordan

Let’s get Tinder with it…

tinder“Will you by my Tinder-ella?”

“Tinder said our kids would look beautiful. A little forward I thought. Figured I’d introduce myself first.”

“Hey there Jordan. I’m a decent singer and mediocre dancer… I think we should start a pop duo.”

“Hello there you Stonecold Fox!”

“We’ll be married by Christmas at this rate.”

“So, does this mean we’re dating now?”

“On a scale of Facebook to Tinder, how wild do you get on weeknights?”

“Do you have 11 protons cause you sodium fine.”

“This app is meant for playing, so let’s stay true to that and let’s play over texts. Don’t be shy, it could be fun.”

“So, is this the part where I send a witty and original message and you laugh a little, then, because you just can’t help yourself, you reply with…” (NO)

————————————————————————————

“I liked you on Tinder!” My best guy friend totally caught me off guard when he called me out, IRL, on being on Tinder. To be completely honest, I forgot that I downloaded it. I work for a social media technology company, so I did my part by downloading it to… you know… research it. Sounds legitimate, right? Well, I got frustrated with the app, exited and called it a day. 

A week later, I met up with some friends who I found out are on Tinder and they started to tell me their Tinder stories. They made it sound much less creepy than my preconception and they talked me into getting back on to try it out; so, I did.  

So, it isn’t necessarily a dating app. And, it isn’t a perverted app either (hello, Grindr). It is 100% based on looks and your location. You can ‘Nope’ (AKA swipe left) or ‘Like’ (AKA swipe right) someone’s profile. Your profile consists of 5 pictures, your first name only, any mutual Facebook friends and Facebook interests. (Oh yeah, you have to have a Facebook to use the app.) You can’t message someone until you become a ‘Match’ (AKA when you like/swipe right each other). At that point, bring on the catchy, mostly creepy, Tinder-lines. I’ll be honest, I never send the first message but I have sent ONE Tinder-line that I’m pretty proud of and I don’t necessarily regret it. 🙂 

Through the incoming Tinder-lines and the countless ‘swipe lefts’, I have matched with some cool people. Most of time time, not anyone I’d date, but it’s fun regardless. I’ve met a few pro-ballers, a reality TV guy, and way too many Fort Worth-ers (Dallas’ next door neighbor- apparently, most of the Dallas Tindees look like douches). So, with this app, you are able to meet people you wouldn’t typically meet otherwise. I’m not on it to find me a man, but then again I’m on the app, so I could be lying. I haven’t decided. 

And of course I have Tinder stories to tell- Like when I dodged a match at a bar in Uptown and when a match found my blog before even finding my last name, but I’ll save those stories for later. 

Go ahead and download the app. I know Truffles is downloading it in… 3, 2, 1. 

 

Happy Tinder-ing,

Jordan

 PS- #NoCatfishing