My New Promotion

I’ll admit, I was probably the only mom as excited as I was that their baby was starting kindergarten. I mean, hello- goodbye daycare bill that was almost as high as my monthly rent!

As Carson and I passed the tearful parents on the first day of school, we were just about skipping to class. I sat him down at his desk, gave him a huge kiss, and while watching him as I left the classroom, I passed a long line of parents standing in the front of the room watching their kids… sit at a desk.

Even though I wasn’t an emotional wreck, I was a nervous wreck the week leading up to the first day of school. We all know that being a parent, your life revolves around your kid(s), but somehow that is taken to a whole ‘nother level when your “baby” starts kindergarten. You have to make sure they are at school on time, you pick them up on time, do homework (I never did my own homework!), cook dinner, eat dinner, bath, bed. Oh, wait… throw soccer practices and games in the mix of all of that (head spinning). Whether you’re a single parent (shout out) or you have help, it’s all still very stressful.

I opened my first soccer team email for Carson and it was for a coaches meeting at the neighborhood family-friendly bar. My initial thought was “Sweet, I got Carson on the right team!” I left work early, picked up Carson and got ready for the meeting so that Carson could meet his coach and his teammates, or at least that’s what we thought. We got to the [family-friendly] bar and I walked into a room full of men; a majority of them being not necessarily old and ugly. Of course my wedding ring radar eye glanced around the room, but not in time to find out that everyone was there to discuss concession stands, bathrooms and fields. Oh… so I was at an actual coaches meeting. Oops…

Through the stress and hectic-ness of our new daily/weekly schedule, I feel like I got a killer job promotion: a mommy promotion. Job promotions are never meant to make your job easier; they’re meant to make your job more challenging, and even better, more rewarding. My life has shifted, once again, for my little kindergartner and we have new challenges and goals to face, but they are beyond rewarding. I couldn’t be more proud of my mommy promotion and, more importantly, Carson. The “proud momma” feeling is one that nothing and no one else can compare to. It is crazy to think that some people would call this “baggage.” If anything, it’s a mere advancement.

With this being a “proud momma” blog post, of course I had to include pictures of my lil man…

 

XOXO,

Jordan AKA Proud Kinder Mom

D-A-D

I don’t know anything differently from being a single mom, and my son doesn’t know anything differently from being raised by only a mom. This is our life; it is normal to us and we are happy. It is so normal to us that I forget that our situation isn’t actually normal.

As I get to know new people, they eventually ask about my “situation” and as they approach the big question, I can tell that they are somewhat afraid to ask. So, what is my story anyway? I’ll keep it as simple as possible. I got pregnant at the end of my junior year of high school. My [ex]boyfriend and I moved in together and quickly realized that we weren’t going to work out. I moved back home and thought my life was over. A little dramatic, huh? Well, after fighting to have him a part of mine and Carson’s life and being an emotional and hormonal wreck, we went our separate ways and that was all she wrote. He has only met Carson once and that was when he made an appearance at the hospital around midnight following the night Carson was born. I came to terms with my situation and prepared myself to do this on my own. Everyone asks if he ever tries to see Carson and the answer is no, but I’m okay with that. I think he has changed, but I learned the hard way that he wasn’t someone that could ever be an influential role in Carson’s life. Any parent would and should understand that.

Carson hasn’t brought up the D-A-D subject up to this point. One day after school when he was three, he was in the back seat of my car and I overheard him saying “Chase loves his mommy and daddy, Lochlain loves his mommy and daddy, James loves his mommy and daddy and I love my mommy.” I couldn’t help but to smile and think that I have done a hell of a good job making his life as normal as possible. Recently, Carson’s best friend’s mom messaged me on Facebook and said that her son was asking her why Carson doesn’t have a daddy. It never crossed my mind that other kids would notice something like that. She knows our situation, but wanted to make sure she told her son the right thing in case the boys talked about it again . It made me wonder if kids ask him about having a D-A-D often and what he says when they do ask him. That night while we were eating dinner, I asked him what he says when his friends ask him who his daddy is and he looked away from me and said, “I tell them I’m not their friend anymore.” My heart sank to my stomach and I knew that it was time to have the talk that I have been preparing myself to have for the last four years.

To be continued…

XOXO,

Jordan

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