Let’s get Tinder with it…

tinder“Will you by my Tinder-ella?”

“Tinder said our kids would look beautiful. A little forward I thought. Figured I’d introduce myself first.”

“Hey there Jordan. I’m a decent singer and mediocre dancer… I think we should start a pop duo.”

“Hello there you Stonecold Fox!”

“We’ll be married by Christmas at this rate.”

“So, does this mean we’re dating now?”

“On a scale of Facebook to Tinder, how wild do you get on weeknights?”

“Do you have 11 protons cause you sodium fine.”

“This app is meant for playing, so let’s stay true to that and let’s play over texts. Don’t be shy, it could be fun.”

“So, is this the part where I send a witty and original message and you laugh a little, then, because you just can’t help yourself, you reply with…” (NO)

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“I liked you on Tinder!” My best guy friend totally caught me off guard when he called me out, IRL, on being on Tinder. To be completely honest, I forgot that I downloaded it. I work for a social media technology company, so I did my part by downloading it to… you know… research it. Sounds legitimate, right? Well, I got frustrated with the app, exited and called it a day. 

A week later, I met up with some friends who I found out are on Tinder and they started to tell me their Tinder stories. They made it sound much less creepy than my preconception and they talked me into getting back on to try it out; so, I did.  

So, it isn’t necessarily a dating app. And, it isn’t a perverted app either (hello, Grindr). It is 100% based on looks and your location. You can ‘Nope’ (AKA swipe left) or ‘Like’ (AKA swipe right) someone’s profile. Your profile consists of 5 pictures, your first name only, any mutual Facebook friends and Facebook interests. (Oh yeah, you have to have a Facebook to use the app.) You can’t message someone until you become a ‘Match’ (AKA when you like/swipe right each other). At that point, bring on the catchy, mostly creepy, Tinder-lines. I’ll be honest, I never send the first message but I have sent ONE Tinder-line that I’m pretty proud of and I don’t necessarily regret it. 🙂 

Through the incoming Tinder-lines and the countless ‘swipe lefts’, I have matched with some cool people. Most of time time, not anyone I’d date, but it’s fun regardless. I’ve met a few pro-ballers, a reality TV guy, and way too many Fort Worth-ers (Dallas’ next door neighbor- apparently, most of the Dallas Tindees look like douches). So, with this app, you are able to meet people you wouldn’t typically meet otherwise. I’m not on it to find me a man, but then again I’m on the app, so I could be lying. I haven’t decided. 

And of course I have Tinder stories to tell- Like when I dodged a match at a bar in Uptown and when a match found my blog before even finding my last name, but I’ll save those stories for later. 

Go ahead and download the app. I know Truffles is downloading it in… 3, 2, 1. 

 

Happy Tinder-ing,

Jordan

 PS- #NoCatfishing 

Pick Up Lines < Drop Off Lines

ImageI have a go-to fake email address that I give to random websites, a fake hometown that I use when meeting people I don’t plan on ever meeting again and a fake phone number to give out to random people I don’t want to meet again. (Sorry to whoever has the 214 version of my phone number!)

If you know me, you know that I am a terrible liar. A few months ago, I saw a hometown band play at a bar in Dallas and was asked where I was from during casual small talk. No one likes to represent Mesquite (ugh), so Sunnyvale or “the Dallas area” is mine and my girl friends’ go-to fake hometowns. Then, I was asked “how do you know the band?” Without question, I replied with “We went school together!” His response- “Oh, so you’re from Mesquite…” CAUGHT!

I try not to put myself in those situations anymore, but of course I found myself in one on Monday. I was walking around downtown and  was approached by a no-goer (AKA- clearly not my type). I tried to as graciously as possible cut the conversation short and hope to steer opposite directions of the sidewalk, but of course it’s never that easy. A super awkward conversation continued as we walked back to our office… in the same building! Just my luck. As we approached the elevator, he used the famous “put your number in my phone so we can hang out soon” line. I couldn’t give him my fake 214 number; I would look like a total ass the next time we ran into each other. Can I tell him to just find me on Facebook? Follow me on Twitter? Anything but my number! The only -word- I could find to use was a very high pitched “suuuurrrre.” And sure enough, I had a call from him within 7 minutes of our departure and a text less than 3 hours later.

I need a better “No you can’t have my number” line. We’ll call it a “drop off” line. Open to suggestions.

XOXO,

Jordan