What I Know Now as a Mother That I Wish I Knew 5 Years Ago

I am so far from having this mom gig figured out. And just like any other mom, I am learning everyday. There is SO much they don’t tell you when you enter the world of motherhood and there is so much left out of all of those parenting books… (not that I read any of them). It is always the small and simple things that help you tremendously. And you usually learn those things the hard way. (hi.) Here is what I have figured out over time that I wish I knew when Carson was a baby…

 

Don’t over do it. That ginorm 1st birthday party that they will never remember… was it worth all of that money? For me? Nope. There are going to be SO many expenses that magically pop up as your little one gets older; save that money!

Find a steady balance in your career and the mom gig. It is extremely important to be able to provide for your family and make a career for yourself, especially if you’re doing this on your own. You might have to make some sacrifices at home and at work. You will learn when to take time off and when to work late.

If you can, get the maid. Even if she comes once every other month, it will help keep you sane.

Don’t compete with other moms. Your kid will ALWAYS be better than her kid. No need to make that a competition…

Don’t forget to take care of YOURSELF. Go get a massage. Get your rest. Go to the dentist. Get your work outs in. Take time for yourself.

You are going to get frustrated. The way you react to your frustrations will reflect onto your kid.

Tell them how proud you are of them daily.  Everyone needs some positive reassurance every now and then (I know I do) and kids need it that much more. And again, it’s the little things. Tell them they did a great job cleaning the table off. That they were so brave during that storm. That they finished their homework all by themselves.

Be a tough lover. It is important to be tough on them, give them high expectations and don’t back down… not even when they give you that look… You know what look I’m talking about! But when you are tough on them, remind them how much you love them and hug and kiss them.

Know when to say no. You will have plans with friends you will have to turn down. You might not be able to buy those shoes. It probably isn’t a good idea for the kiddo to eat that whole bag of Sour Patch Kids.

Know when to say yes. Take a night off and go out with your girlfriends! You worked your ass off on that project, buy the shoes. It’s Friday night, let him eat the candy. You see what I did there?

Speaking of girlfriends, focus on your core girlfriends. You no longer have time to be a socialite and keep up with all of those acquaintances. Your core girlfriends will respect you and your struggle as a mother. They shouldn’t expect you to pick up the bar tab, to go on Saturday shopping sprees and to go out regularly.

Give your kid a bed time! There is nothing better than getting your kid to bed by 8:15 and being able to kick back, watch Real Housewives and drink your wine without any interruptions.

Always have wine on hand. A glass of wine (or two) after bed time is kind of just as healthy as taking your daily vitamins. Cheers!

 

 

XOXO,

 

Jordan

 

“Mom, do you have a boyfriend?”

Regardless of the fact that I hardly date, I don’t believe in bringing guys (that could potentially be a boyfriend) around Carson for many reasons. I a) don’t want to give the guy the wrong impression, b) don’t want Carson to get attached and c) it just isn’t something that needs to be done in the early stages of dating (in my book, at least).

I met up with a friend last weekend, and being the hot mess that I am, I left my damn purse in his truck. With Carson in tote, I picked up my purse, said hi and we were on her way. Within 5 minutes of leaving, Carson asks, “Mom, do you have a boyfriend?” Because this is coming from a kid who currently has 5+ girlfriends, I wasn’t completely caught off guard with his cultivated question. I was more so flustered to say, “No Carson. I don’t have a boyfriend…” Hah!

I’m not sure if I’m ready to have these talks with him. He’s so nosey… and smart. Dammit.

 

XOXO,

Very Single Mom

The Break to my Spring Break

Today, a week ago, I was saying bye to Carson as he wasted absolutely no time getting in his great-grandparents’ car and buckling up for his week of spring break… I am blessed to not get many “mommy breaks”, with the exception of the occasional babysitter or night at Gigi’s. (I’m literally lost without him, so when I say I am blessed, that is an understatement.) 

Of course I had big plans for this “mommy break” week. I was going to hit spin class at least 4 times, was going to attempt to do a two-a-day gym day once or twice, go on a date or two, get to the office earlier than the norm, meet girlfriends for happy hour, get a massage, all of it. These are all things you can’t do easily being a parent (single or not), SO I WAS READY TO TAKE ADVANTAGE. It’s just hard…

How did I end up spending my week? SLEEPING. When people said that you don’t sleep for 18 years when you have a child, they weren’t lying. You really don’t. I had no idea how sleep deprived I was. I honestly thought I just bought really cheap eye cream, until now. (But if you’re looking for some life-changing eye cream, try out this magical stuff.) 

And only because I am Black Irish (and have kick ass friends), I ended my “mommy break” by celebrating St. Patrick’s Day at the infamous Dallas – Lower Greenville Block Party… in the pouring rain… drinking cheap (yet effing expensive) beer. Now, back to being sleep deprived. Dammit.

XOXO,

Jo (tired) Momma

I am not a Soccer Mom

soccer mom

 

I am not a soccer mom. 

 

I am not going to compare my son’s report card with yours. 

I am not going to make fancy Christmas or Valentines treats for class. You’re lucky if we make it to the store to pick up a package of cookies. 

I am not going to volunteer to read kids books at school. 

I am not going to change the radio station to Disney when carpooling. Wait, do I have to carpool?

I am not going to make sure my son makes it to every kid in his class’s birthday parties. 

I am not going to do his homework to make sure he makes the best grades. 

I am not going to paint my nails the color of his sports teams.

I am not going to one up you and your kid, blatantly at least. 

 

But I will be the loudest mom on the side lines. 

I will embarrass him by kissing him in front of his friends (probably even when he’s in his 20’s). 

I will cuddle with him every morning and every night. 

I will have major dance parties with him in the car. 

I will let him take me on dates to teach him how to court a girl. 

I will teach him the importance of doing things on his own. (Like making breakfast and letting mommy sleep in every now and then.)

I will let him be his own person, within reason. And if that means wearing Wranglers, Longhorns belt buckle, Vans and a Polo shirt while loving skateboarding, baseball and Luke Bryan, then so be it. 

I will be his best friend and biggest motivator. 

 

XOXO,

Your Normal Single and Working Mom, Jordan