The Break to my Spring Break

Today, a week ago, I was saying bye to Carson as he wasted absolutely no time getting in his great-grandparents’ car and buckling up for his week of spring break… I am blessed to not get many “mommy breaks”, with the exception of the occasional babysitter or night at Gigi’s. (I’m literally lost without him, so when I say I am blessed, that is an understatement.) 

Of course I had big plans for this “mommy break” week. I was going to hit spin class at least 4 times, was going to attempt to do a two-a-day gym day once or twice, go on a date or two, get to the office earlier than the norm, meet girlfriends for happy hour, get a massage, all of it. These are all things you can’t do easily being a parent (single or not), SO I WAS READY TO TAKE ADVANTAGE. It’s just hard…

How did I end up spending my week? SLEEPING. When people said that you don’t sleep for 18 years when you have a child, they weren’t lying. You really don’t. I had no idea how sleep deprived I was. I honestly thought I just bought really cheap eye cream, until now. (But if you’re looking for some life-changing eye cream, try out this magical stuff.) 

And only because I am Black Irish (and have kick ass friends), I ended my “mommy break” by celebrating St. Patrick’s Day at the infamous Dallas – Lower Greenville Block Party… in the pouring rain… drinking cheap (yet effing expensive) beer. Now, back to being sleep deprived. Dammit.

XOXO,

Jo (tired) Momma

12 Reasons Why Being a Single Mom Kicks Douchebag Ass

What does it mean to be a young single mom?

Thanks to terrible reality TV, there is a sickening stereotype associated with the ‘Single Mom’ title and even worse preconceptions from a good number of men in the dating scene.  Right off of the bat, they automatically think that you don’t have your life together, you are on the prowl for a baby daddy and/or sugar daddy, your life is filled with drama and you have too much baggage. Yep, I said baggage.

What people don’t know is that it kicks ass being an independent single mom, douchebag ass.

Here are just some reasons why:

 

1) Your child is your motivator.

Being able to provide for your family (no matter how small it may be) feels great. It makes you want to get out and conquer the world just for your child’s future.

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2) You don’t “need” someone to make you happy or to love you.

You have all of that, plus an insane amount of pride.

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3) You have a best friend.

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4) You develop a killer support system.

We’ve always been told that family is #1 and it is so true. Your family is by your side through it all and supports you through everything. They become your best friends.

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5) You aren’t trying to impress anyone but your kiddo.

And when they give you the “thumbs up,” (literally or not) your day, week, month, year is made.

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6) No date will ever compare to your date nights with your main lover.

But seriously- no getting ready, no annoying small talk and no high probability of awkward encounters.

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7) Nights out become a little more mainstream…

Hang overs become a less frequent thing and your friendships are way more real.

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8) Let’s not kid ourselves. A “man” is still in the back of your mind, but you don’t settle (or waste time) on anything you know you don’t want or deserve.

*Bonus- It is much easier to weed out the douches when you’re upfront about being a proud momma. If they run… #SeeYa

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9) You have priorities and they’re prioritized.

While people around your age, without kids, are worrying about impressing their current men-terest (grown up crush), what others are saying about them and who said what about you- you are just trying to successfully get your kid through school, or life in general, and you could care less what he thinks or what she said.

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10) You still aren’t missing out on anything with having a kid. 

Yeah, GTL is more a thing of the past, but you can make it work… out.

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11) You don’t need a cup of coffee to perk you up for the day.

Those little feet tiptoeing through your apartment and huge morning grin does it for you; the coffee is an added bonus.

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12) When you’re having a day of doubt, we all have Sandra: proof that being a single mom (willingly or not) is possible and can look damn good. Thanks, Sandra. 

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XOXO,

 

Jordan- also known as: Jo-Momma 😉 

 

My New Promotion

I’ll admit, I was probably the only mom as excited as I was that their baby was starting kindergarten. I mean, hello- goodbye daycare bill that was almost as high as my monthly rent!

As Carson and I passed the tearful parents on the first day of school, we were just about skipping to class. I sat him down at his desk, gave him a huge kiss, and while watching him as I left the classroom, I passed a long line of parents standing in the front of the room watching their kids… sit at a desk.

Even though I wasn’t an emotional wreck, I was a nervous wreck the week leading up to the first day of school. We all know that being a parent, your life revolves around your kid(s), but somehow that is taken to a whole ‘nother level when your “baby” starts kindergarten. You have to make sure they are at school on time, you pick them up on time, do homework (I never did my own homework!), cook dinner, eat dinner, bath, bed. Oh, wait… throw soccer practices and games in the mix of all of that (head spinning). Whether you’re a single parent (shout out) or you have help, it’s all still very stressful.

I opened my first soccer team email for Carson and it was for a coaches meeting at the neighborhood family-friendly bar. My initial thought was “Sweet, I got Carson on the right team!” I left work early, picked up Carson and got ready for the meeting so that Carson could meet his coach and his teammates, or at least that’s what we thought. We got to the [family-friendly] bar and I walked into a room full of men; a majority of them being not necessarily old and ugly. Of course my wedding ring radar eye glanced around the room, but not in time to find out that everyone was there to discuss concession stands, bathrooms and fields. Oh… so I was at an actual coaches meeting. Oops…

Through the stress and hectic-ness of our new daily/weekly schedule, I feel like I got a killer job promotion: a mommy promotion. Job promotions are never meant to make your job easier; they’re meant to make your job more challenging, and even better, more rewarding. My life has shifted, once again, for my little kindergartner and we have new challenges and goals to face, but they are beyond rewarding. I couldn’t be more proud of my mommy promotion and, more importantly, Carson. The “proud momma” feeling is one that nothing and no one else can compare to. It is crazy to think that some people would call this “baggage.” If anything, it’s a mere advancement.

With this being a “proud momma” blog post, of course I had to include pictures of my lil man…

 

XOXO,

Jordan AKA Proud Kinder Mom

Father’s Day – the new Single Mother’s Day?

Being a mother is rewarding. Being a father is exciting. Being both is rewarding, exciting and challenging. In a lot of families, you have your mom who is the care taker, the heart of the family and the household stylist and the dad who is the protector, the motivator and the rock. How does a single parent balance both? I’m still trying to figure that out… 

Being a mom and a dad for Carson is probably the most rewarding challenge I will ever face. Being in this position is tough. You have to be the good guy and the bad guy and figure out when you are supposed to be the bad guy and how long until the good guy comes back. (head spinning) You have to figure out how to have a successful career and still be able to keep up with school, the house and quality time together. There isn’t a time to slip; you have to try to be the best role model you can be because what you are is what your child will become. (that’s scary) And through all of that, you have to stay sane and keep somewhat of a social life.

There are ways to make being a single mom easier and people ask me all of the time, “Why don’t you ask for child support?” I’ll be honest… There are multiple reasons why I don’t ask or want child support. 1) Having a child isn’t a debt. 2) You can’t pay to be a parent; you have to be a parent. 3) I have a little too much pride being a single mom to accept money from someone. 4) It feels really good providing for the love of your life on your own, regardless of how hard it actually is.

Then, people will ask me, “Why don’t you date?” Haha… That’s a little more complex. I know so many single moms that rush into relationships or go from one serious relationship to the next in hopes of taking a load off of their plate. Good idea, but that’s not how I roll. When it comes to dating, I know what and who is right for me and what I am looking for; it’s not a dad for Carson. That’s when it gets complicated. When that time comes –if it ever does- and everything works out, that person will end up being someone I would want in Carson’s life, but I’m not actively looking for a “dad” for Carson. It’s as simple as that, right?

With that being said, we had a great Father’s Day. He made Father’s Day cards for the two most influential men in his life, my dad and grandpa, his Grumpa and Boompa (we’re country) and played at the lake. We couldn’t be happier.

Happy Father’s Day to my fellow single moms and awesome dads, especially mine!

 

XOXO,

Jordan

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