Conquering Weddings, Solo

dallas wedding

There are amazing things that you learn about yourself during your single years that you might not ever get a chance to learn otherwise. You might find a hidden talent. You might realize your personality is a lot quirkier than you thought. You might learn how to do something completely out of your realm.

Or, even better, you might learn how to conquer a summer full of weddings, solo.

Bringing a date to a wedding as a single lady can be a total bore to begin with. You can’t gossip and have inappropriate conversations with your girls, and you have to worry about making sure they don’t feel awkward when you leave him to go hit the dance floor. I, personally, suggest putting on your party panties and going to the next wedding on your own.

Here are a few tips to accomplish Single Lady Wedding Reception Success:

Look hot. The more confident you feel, the easier it will be to open up in a setting that may be outside of your comfort zone. And don’t be that girl that wears a dress and shoes that you can’t dance in and don’t wear white… or red.

Go ahead and put the phone away. Being glued to your phone means missing out on conversations and opportunities to meet new people. And being glued to your phone in social settings can be tacky. Ugh… I just said tacky.

Arrive early. Not just because it’s the right thing to do, but this will give you time to find familiar faces and someone to sit with during the nuptials.

Find a seat. Seating during the reception can be awkward. It’s awkward if there is assigned seating; it’s awkward if there isn’t. If you’re like me, you’ll either end up at the kids table or the retirement table. Remember, you’re on your own. Find an empty seat next to someone you know… or that hot friend of the groom!

Participate! The bride and groom want to make sure everyone is having fun. Finish your second (or third) cocktail and get on the dance floor. Who cares if you suck at dancing (hi). Who cares if everyone at the table is watching you (they’ll probably admire you). Grab friends and the bride and break in the dance floor for everyone else.

If you really want to rock a reception dance floor, you may want to learn these few dances:

The Wobble

Cupid Shuffle

Single Ladies

Cha Cha Slide

And because every guy in Texas needs to learn the basics to country two stepping.

At this point of the night, you should be ready to catch the bouquet. After all, your dance solo to Single Ladies should have everyone cheering for you to catch the bouquet. So, you may want to practice catching too…

Now, the rest of the night… that’s up to you.

XOXO,

Jordan

Let’s get Tinder with it…

tinder“Will you by my Tinder-ella?”

“Tinder said our kids would look beautiful. A little forward I thought. Figured I’d introduce myself first.”

“Hey there Jordan. I’m a decent singer and mediocre dancer… I think we should start a pop duo.”

“Hello there you Stonecold Fox!”

“We’ll be married by Christmas at this rate.”

“So, does this mean we’re dating now?”

“On a scale of Facebook to Tinder, how wild do you get on weeknights?”

“Do you have 11 protons cause you sodium fine.”

“This app is meant for playing, so let’s stay true to that and let’s play over texts. Don’t be shy, it could be fun.”

“So, is this the part where I send a witty and original message and you laugh a little, then, because you just can’t help yourself, you reply with…” (NO)

————————————————————————————

“I liked you on Tinder!” My best guy friend totally caught me off guard when he called me out, IRL, on being on Tinder. To be completely honest, I forgot that I downloaded it. I work for a social media technology company, so I did my part by downloading it to… you know… research it. Sounds legitimate, right? Well, I got frustrated with the app, exited and called it a day. 

A week later, I met up with some friends who I found out are on Tinder and they started to tell me their Tinder stories. They made it sound much less creepy than my preconception and they talked me into getting back on to try it out; so, I did.  

So, it isn’t necessarily a dating app. And, it isn’t a perverted app either (hello, Grindr). It is 100% based on looks and your location. You can ‘Nope’ (AKA swipe left) or ‘Like’ (AKA swipe right) someone’s profile. Your profile consists of 5 pictures, your first name only, any mutual Facebook friends and Facebook interests. (Oh yeah, you have to have a Facebook to use the app.) You can’t message someone until you become a ‘Match’ (AKA when you like/swipe right each other). At that point, bring on the catchy, mostly creepy, Tinder-lines. I’ll be honest, I never send the first message but I have sent ONE Tinder-line that I’m pretty proud of and I don’t necessarily regret it. 🙂 

Through the incoming Tinder-lines and the countless ‘swipe lefts’, I have matched with some cool people. Most of time time, not anyone I’d date, but it’s fun regardless. I’ve met a few pro-ballers, a reality TV guy, and way too many Fort Worth-ers (Dallas’ next door neighbor- apparently, most of the Dallas Tindees look like douches). So, with this app, you are able to meet people you wouldn’t typically meet otherwise. I’m not on it to find me a man, but then again I’m on the app, so I could be lying. I haven’t decided. 

And of course I have Tinder stories to tell- Like when I dodged a match at a bar in Uptown and when a match found my blog before even finding my last name, but I’ll save those stories for later. 

Go ahead and download the app. I know Truffles is downloading it in… 3, 2, 1. 

 

Happy Tinder-ing,

Jordan

 PS- #NoCatfishing 

Dallasbelle Rule #10: Break Your Rules

Break the RulesPeople have always said that “if you obey all of the rules, you miss all of the fun.” I mean, don’t you agree? Then, why are you still playing by the rules? Yep. I found myself asking the same question not too long ago.

I like to say that I’m old fashioned when it comes to dating and I’ve come up with all of these dating rules to abide by. I’ve admittedly come to the realization that this is just me playing it safe.  While I think rules are important to help you stand your ground, most of them aren’t necessary and you lose yourself in them. How do you know which are necessary and which you can nix (see what I did there…)? Idea! Find a guinea pig… 

I like to think my guinea pig found me, but nonetheless, I had a guinea pig! We’ll call him Truffles. Truffles was/is someone that I was/am interested in (haha a lot of grey lines there – you’ll see why) but is someone that if I made a complete fool of myself, it wouldn’t be life-ending. So, I considered my dating rules and began breaking them one bye one.

These are just some of my many rules that I broke with Truffles.

Rule #1: Never give out your phone number without him asking first. 

This is a big rule for me. I never -ever- make the first move, but my friend was in on it and she basically threatened me. So, as my face was burning red and heart was racing like I was about to go skydiving, I messaged Truffles my number and immediately turned off my computer. You’re probably thinking “Jordan, it’s not that huge.” Isn’t the first time you do anything huge? Give me a break! With a huge relief, I had a text the next morning and all was good in the hood. However, this is a rule I could still keep, depending on the person and situation. I feel like with me hitting on him and being so forward, it gave Truffles an ego I could have lived without.

Rule #2: Don’t be the first texter/conversation starter.

I always gave off the wrong message to guys because I would never initiate a conversation. It totally freaked me out, but I did it with Truffles. “Hey, how’s your day going?” Ugh, I cringe just thinking about it. He always responded, but I felt like I was being too available with texting open ended questions first. With this rule, I would say it is okay to text first if it is a specific comment or question, i.e., “I bet my view is better than yours right now,” with a picture (not of yourself, of the view. FOCUS). He’ll probably respond with a pic of his view and appreciate your competitiveness.

Rule #3: Don’t make the first phone call. 

Yeah, so… I chugged an entire glass of wine before breaking this rule. I didn’t know what I was going to say, what he was going to say, didn’t want to sound dumb and didn’t want to sound nervous- that’s where the wine was supposed to come in. I waited for my right time to make the phone call and it rang, and rang, and my heart raced, my face flushed and it rang, and it rang… and he didn’t answer! Phewww! But, he called me the next morning (score!) and I am pretty sure we both sounded equally nervous through our awkward laughing. It was great, though.

Rule #4: Never send a picture. 

Why does every guy ask for a damn picture? Like, can’t you just Google me? In my book, this rule doesn’t need to be broken. Your guy needs to stop being lazy and see you in person instead. I mean, how many times did Vanessa Hudgens’ pictures get leaked. Okay, maybe just once,  but once is enough!

Rule #5: Don’t initiate the first hang out/meet/date. 

Truffles was on the line, but not quite reeled in yet. Typically, I would just leave the guy hooked, let the line lose and let him swim off, but this was yet another time for me to break my rules. I brought up the idea of meeting up and while Truffles wasn’t against it at all, he definitely wasn’t pro-active about it.

Rule #6: Play hard to get. 

This rule needs to be outlawed. Obviously, playing hard to get is annoying and makes you look like a stuck up biotch. Instead, just don’t be 100% available all of the time and keep things mysterious. For Truffles, I played the “I am a very busy lady but if you ask, I’ll say yes” persona. It wasn’t too abrasive and he knew I was still interested.

Rule #7: Don’t put yourself out there too much. 

By putting yourself out there, I mean seeming overly interested, sending annoying smiley faces with every text, talk to him via text all throughout the day and talk to him on the phone almost every night. I probably have a wall higher -and longer- than the Great Wall of China up, but poor mister Truffles was game… I think.

Rule #8: Hide your crazy. 

Are you a girl? Yes. Are you crazy? Yes (some crazier than others, but let’s be real, we’re all crazy). I wanted to figure out the extent of Truffles’ interest in ME, so he got a little preview of my, partially made up, crazy side. I basically told Truffles that he’s wasting my time and what not. My thought process while breaking this rule was that he would step up or… step down. I’ll say that this is still pending? (haha) So, instead of continuing to flaunt a weird crazy side and text him and call him non stop, I went back to normal Jordan and left it/him alone.

It was fun having Truffles has a guinea pig. Obviously, you want your guinea pig to be with someone that has potential in case your rule breaking works, so don’t just start this with your first Tinder match. Yes, I said Tinder. I’ll blog about that next…

Happy Rule Breaking!

XOXO,
Jordan

Settling Down

Samantha JonesAs I sat on the patio of my favorite Sunday brunch spot, slightly hung over from the night before, and strangely the only person at the table proudly still drinking, it hit me.

Life.

What all can change in a year… Last year was an eventful year; so eventful that I couldn’t even blog about half of it. [I’ll post a few pictures instead] Mine and my best friends’ social life was on fire and we weren’t settling down for anything or anyone. We went out almost every Thursday for “ladies night”, had people over every Friday and went out to Uptown every Saturday. It was exhausting but the time of our lives.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Fast forward a little over a year… different story.  My girlfriends are either almost engaged, engaged and/or have a new baby and I couldn’t be happier for them. As I was catching up with these two very sober, but still best friends, I realized I was kind of relieved at how things have settled down. Now, you’re probably thinking… “But Jordan, you haven’t settled down.” Touche. I’ve settled down with myself, though.

Five years ago, I gave myself about 5 major life goals to achieve before I let myself settle down with someone. Goals like finding my career path, figuring out the mom thing, finding myself, some personal goals and those have all been proudly achieved. When you finally settle down with yourself, life becomes so much easier. You are confident, you know what you want and you don’t waste time. You are 100% yourself (if you’re like me, sarcastic and borderline sassy) around people you meet. And when someone doesn’t get your humor, you confidently laugh at them. 🙂 You just don’t let the small things bother you and it feels great.

With that being said, if you are at the age where you feel like your girlfriends are dropping like flies and you’re the only single girl left, don’t have a panic attack. Just bring out your inner Samantha Jones and start settling down with yourself. Everything else will fall into place after. Promise.

 

XOXO,

 

Jordan

 

Dallasbelle Rule #9: Keep Your Dating Life off of Social Media

Carrie Bradshaw BrunchMy kind of Dallasbelle is a single one; that’s why most of my blog posts speak to my fellow single ladies. And well quite frankly, I’m becoming a proud pro of the single life and have made a -few- mistakes and broken a few rules.

So, while you’re enjoying the single life with me and dating around, keep this rule in the back of your mind…

Dallasbelle Rule #9: Keep your dating life off of social media!! 

Social media is major game player in any single’s dating life. I know that there are exes that need to be made jealous and girls you want to intimidate, but letting people know the dates you’re on and the guys you’re talking to is not doing you any favors. Just don’t let social media make you look like a crazy and screw everything up for you. After all, we all love being single, but nobody wants to be single for forever.

Think about it…

  • Think of all of Carrie Bradshaw’s brunches with her gfs. Those one nighters, terrible kissers and crazy first timers should be shared with your best girlfriends over Mimosas or, if it was one of those nights, a Bloody Mary.
  • Be mysterious. Guys don’t want to know or think that you’re dating other people. But at the same time, they don’t want to think that you are 100% focused him and want to think that other guys are interested in you too. Nonchalantly and without effort, give him/them competition.
  • Not dating anyone else? I’m sorry… (Just kidding!) Pretend like you are and note the above.
  • Do NOT, for the love of God, Like, Favorite, RT, comment (whatever else) everything he puts on his profiles. That gives him an ego you don’t want him to have and you a title you don’t want to have, psycho creeper.
  • While you are in the “dating scene”, keep your social posts related to how awesome your girl friends are and how you’re killing it at work. No mushy posts based off of your initial butterflies with the dude(s), please.
  • Lastly, don’t post pictures of him, you and him, or of your dates… anywhere. Wait until you are both on the same page, AKA exclusive.

XOXO,

Jordan