People have always said that “if you obey all of the rules, you miss all of the fun.” I mean, don’t you agree? Then, why are you still playing by the rules? Yep. I found myself asking the same question not too long ago.
I like to say that I’m old fashioned when it comes to dating and I’ve come up with all of these dating rules to abide by. I’ve admittedly come to the realization that this is just me playing it safe. While I think rules are important to help you stand your ground, most of them aren’t necessary and you lose yourself in them. How do you know which are necessary and which you can nix (see what I did there…)? Idea! Find a guinea pig…
I like to think my guinea pig found me, but nonetheless, I had a guinea pig! We’ll call him Truffles. Truffles was/is someone that I was/am interested in (haha a lot of grey lines there – you’ll see why) but is someone that if I made a complete fool of myself, it wouldn’t be life-ending. So, I considered my dating rules and began breaking them one bye one.
These are just some of my many rules that I broke with Truffles.
Rule #1: Never give out your phone number without him asking first.
This is a big rule for me. I never -ever- make the first move, but my friend was in on it and she basically threatened me. So, as my face was burning red and heart was racing like I was about to go skydiving, I messaged Truffles my number and immediately turned off my computer. You’re probably thinking “Jordan, it’s not that huge.” Isn’t the first time you do anything huge? Give me a break! With a huge relief, I had a text the next morning and all was good in the hood. However, this is a rule I could still keep, depending on the person and situation. I feel like with me hitting on him and being so forward, it gave Truffles an ego I could have lived without.
Rule #2: Don’t be the first texter/conversation starter.
I always gave off the wrong message to guys because I would never initiate a conversation. It totally freaked me out, but I did it with Truffles. “Hey, how’s your day going?” Ugh, I cringe just thinking about it. He always responded, but I felt like I was being too available with texting open ended questions first. With this rule, I would say it is okay to text first if it is a specific comment or question, i.e., “I bet my view is better than yours right now,” with a picture (not of yourself, of the view. FOCUS). He’ll probably respond with a pic of his view and appreciate your competitiveness.
Rule #3: Don’t make the first phone call.
Yeah, so… I chugged an entire glass of wine before breaking this rule. I didn’t know what I was going to say, what he was going to say, didn’t want to sound dumb and didn’t want to sound nervous- that’s where the wine was supposed to come in. I waited for my right time to make the phone call and it rang, and rang, and my heart raced, my face flushed and it rang, and it rang… and he didn’t answer! Phewww! But, he called me the next morning (score!) and I am pretty sure we both sounded equally nervous through our awkward laughing. It was great, though.
Rule #4: Never send a picture.
Why does every guy ask for a damn picture? Like, can’t you just Google me? In my book, this rule doesn’t need to be broken. Your guy needs to stop being lazy and see you in person instead. I mean, how many times did Vanessa Hudgens’ pictures get leaked. Okay, maybe just once, but once is enough!
Rule #5: Don’t initiate the first hang out/meet/date.
Truffles was on the line, but not quite reeled in yet. Typically, I would just leave the guy hooked, let the line lose and let him swim off, but this was yet another time for me to break my rules. I brought up the idea of meeting up and while Truffles wasn’t against it at all, he definitely wasn’t pro-active about it.
Rule #6: Play hard to get.
This rule needs to be outlawed. Obviously, playing hard to get is annoying and makes you look like a stuck up biotch. Instead, just don’t be 100% available all of the time and keep things mysterious. For Truffles, I played the “I am a very busy lady but if you ask, I’ll say yes” persona. It wasn’t too abrasive and he knew I was still interested.
Rule #7: Don’t put yourself out there too much.
By putting yourself out there, I mean seeming overly interested, sending annoying smiley faces with every text, talk to him via text all throughout the day and talk to him on the phone almost every night. I probably have a wall higher -and longer- than the Great Wall of China up, but poor mister Truffles was game… I think.
Rule #8: Hide your crazy.
Are you a girl? Yes. Are you crazy? Yes (some crazier than others, but let’s be real, we’re all crazy). I wanted to figure out the extent of Truffles’ interest in ME, so he got a little preview of my, partially made up, crazy side. I basically told Truffles that he’s wasting my time and what not. My thought process while breaking this rule was that he would step up or… step down. I’ll say that this is still pending? (haha) So, instead of continuing to flaunt a weird crazy side and text him and call him non stop, I went back to normal Jordan and left it/him alone.
It was fun having Truffles has a guinea pig. Obviously, you want your guinea pig to be with someone that has potential in case your rule breaking works, so don’t just start this with your first Tinder match. Yes, I said Tinder. I’ll blog about that next…
Happy Rule Breaking!